Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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