Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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