what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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