I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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