Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
