I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
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