your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just cropdusted the office
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
