my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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