I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
