Walk of Shame. In a state park.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
