I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
