Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it's like iHOP with fire
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
