she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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