So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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