ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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