what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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