I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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