Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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