omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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