Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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