Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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