I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
