My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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