if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
