He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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