So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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