Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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