Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
They have beer where we have blood.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize