Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
