shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
