Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
