you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize