guys are not supposed to queef...right?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
