I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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