oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
