: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
