I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
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I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
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Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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