god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
where are you?
Hypothermia
Even my vagina gasped.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize