what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
