just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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