pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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