Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
