3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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