OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
