I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He uses pillows to masturbate.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
