Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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