I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
