ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
