i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
