go do what you do best...puke behind churches
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
