I think my vagina is haunted
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Michael Bay diarrhea
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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