Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
