Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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