Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Well I just put wine in my tea
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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