i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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