So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
