what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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