my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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