It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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